theme by alexnewmann
40,376 notes
hey remember that time i got grounded because i saw my dads girlfriend in the car and then saw my dad putting the dog in the back of the car and asked why he was bringing both the dogs with us
272,287 notes
This is seriously the most mind boggling thing ever.what if a guy in a hoodie comes up to you and hands you a giant book and gives you a sly smirk. when you start to read it, you realize it’s a book about your entire life. would you read it to the end?
37,140 notes
the most uncomfortable part of breaking dawn was when bella and edward were having sex in their new house and bella was climaxing and this old lady next to me was like “i miss getting orgasms like that”
(Source: tiffanyisnthereanymore)
359,035 notes
3rd grade
- friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
- me: what
- friend: OH MAN
- OH
- OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
- I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
- SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
- JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.
